


Unknown (to you)

by peachypeony



Category: Shadowhunters
Genre: Post series finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 21:17:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18747289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachypeony/pseuds/peachypeony
Summary: just a bit of an add-on to the finale because i'm feeling kind of robbed right now.





	Unknown (to you)

It doesn’t come back all at once.

She doesn’t see his face and the fog surrounding those lost months suddenly lifts. But there’s something, something niggling impatiently at the back of her mind, like a caged animal desperately trying to escape its confines. This man, this stranger for all intents and purposes, he looks at her like he’s witnessing a miracle, and a piece of her feels it too, that whatever’s happening right now is miraculous.

She brazenly rests a hand at the crook of his neck, where thick black lines wind across his warm skin and she can feel his pulse hammering wildly, her own seems to pick up the pace to match. Unconsciously her body seems to lean towards his, seeking out this golden boy that she doesn’t know but she knows. And they stand in this alley, staring silently while the world hums around them.

The door opens and a couple spills out, arguing over something, and it breaks the moment just enough for her to get her thoughts under control.

“How do I know you?” she asks, just loud enough to be heard over the noise of the city.

Jace swallows visibly and she watches a war of emotions overcome his face, the uncertainty he’s feeling is clear as day. “It’s a long story,” he says finally, his voice is rough and again it tugs at something hidden deep inside her.

“I’ve got time.” She reaches for his hand, feels the calluses under her palms and the comfort in a strong grip. “There’s a coffee shop just around the corner,” she suggests, and she wonders if she looks as pleading as she feels. She can’t let this go, can’t let him go, she needs to know. She’s not sure if she’s ever needing anything more.

He’s quiet for a moment, clearly deliberating and she wishes she knew what was going in his head right now.

And then after what feels like minutes he agrees. “Lead the way.”

___

The coffee shop is a quick walk down the block; she’s spent plenty of time nestled in the comfy armchairs with a sketchpad and an espresso over the past few months since she started at the academy. She orders two cups of tea and leads them over to a secluded leather sofa out of the way of the other patrons. They sit angled towards each other in the dim light, she watches his hands twitch, like he wants to touch her but refrains. In turn, her eyes rake across him, studying his features, his odd colored eyes, those damn black lines that for some reason she doesn’t think are actually tattoos at all.

A waitress places their mugs on the table in front of them and Jace reaches for his like he’s relieved to have something else to occupy his hands.

“So?” Clary prompts as she stirs a packet of sugar into her lavender spearmint tea.

“I’m not sure how to start,” he admits. His eyes flit away from her for a second before darting back to her face, like he can’t look away from her, and she can’t comprehend why she feels the same way.

“You can just start with how we know each other.”

He shakes his head, blond hair falling in a disarray which he impatiently pushes back. “It’s not that simple, Clary.”

Her name.

Her name on his tongue.

It sparks something, something big, important. Flashes of images in her head; gold, gold, gold, intertwined with blood red and a heavy darkness; her name echoing around her, caressing her skin; those eyes, those unmistakable eyes, staring at her with an overwhelming emotion that grips her heart like a vice and sends a chill down her spine in the best way possible. A flood of emotion washes over her, emotions that she doesn’t have the memory to connect them to, but she feels them deeply anyway. Happiness, grief, anger, loss, love. They rip through her like a shot, her hands shake and her mug slips from her grasp, but never hits the floor.

Jace stares, worried, his hands holding her steaming beverage. “Clary?” he says, concern dripping from each syllable. “Are you okay?” He sets the mug down on the table next to his and rests one hand on her shoulder, the other reaches up to cup her cheek, grounding her.

Shakily, and with watering eyes, she says, “We were in love, weren’t we?”

His thumb swipes back and forth across her cheek and she sees tears threatening to spill from his own eyes. “Yeah,” he chokes out, “yeah, Clary, we were in love.” He does cry then, quietly as he holds her, and she aches, wanting to soothe him but unable to figure out how to go about it when she doesn’t know enough about the situation.

“What happened? Why can’t I remember?”

Jace pulls back, just barely, but keeps one of her hands between his, holding onto it like a lifeline. “You were a hero, you sacrificed everything to save everyone. You were always so selfless,” he adds quietly, earnestly.

She shakes her head, uncomprehending. “What are you talking about? What did I do, and why-”

“We should take this slowly,” he cuts her off. “As much as I want to tell you everything, I don’t want you to get overwhelmed. There’s a lot of ground to cover, and like you said, we’ve got time.”

She wants to argue, to tell him that she can handle it and she deserves to know, but there’s a headache already building at her temples, and she’s exhausted after working through countless nights getting ready for the exhibition. But she’s still reluctant to leave things like this. “I’ll see you again?” she asks slowly, suddenly afraid of him disappearing into the night like a ghost.

“Clary, I couldn’t stay away from you if my life depended on it. As long as you want to see me, I’ll be there,” he promises and there’s not a doubt in her mind that he means it wholeheartedly.

She nods, mostly to herself, and says, “Good.”

Jace grins at her, wide and disarming and a part of her melts at the sight of it. She can’t resist lifting a hand to his face and tracing the smile lines in his cheeks. He turns and presses a gentle kiss to the palm of her hand before grasping it in his own. “How about I walk you home?” he asks as he stands from the sofa.

A soft smile of her own spreads across her face as she stands to join him. “I’d like that.”

They step back out into the night air, the first few drops of rain beginning to fall from the sky, and for the first time since she found herself wandering the streets in a red dress, she feels content, like things are finally starting to fall into place.

So no, it doesn’t come back all at once.

It isn’t like a wave crashing over her, drenching her in water all at once. It’s more like a rain storm in spring, drops gently cascading to the ground, taking their time to saturate the foliage. Each tiny raindrop is something new to rediscover, something that she’d lost but is slowly being rightfully returned to her, and Jace is at her side for all of it.


End file.
